


You Haven't Lived If You Haven't Had A Blowjob

by 22Bean22



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Blowjobs, Innocence, Kissing, L - Freeform, M/M, Make Outs, Matsuda - Freeform, Matsuda Is Special, Matsuda Ships It, but not smut, deep chats, lawlight, light - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 09:06:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15288210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/22Bean22/pseuds/22Bean22
Summary: What did this mean? He hadn’t lived, just because he hadn’t had a blowjob? This was awfully uncomfortable. Was it really that vital to human life, to partake in a blowjob? What was his species doing?





	You Haven't Lived If You Haven't Had A Blowjob

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm doing a challange for one of my friends. Basically, I'm trying to get her to watch one of my favourite Anime, and in return, I write her a fanfic for every episode she watches. So, blame her for this.

“Do you guys ever look at a girl, and just wonder what she’s like in bed?” 

Matsuda’s question came out of nowhere, catching both Light and L by surprise. Light’s face remained stoic, his eyes betraying nothing but a slight hint of shock and amusement. Meanwhile, L was deep in thought. At the moment his brain was in overdrive, the Kira case causing him to overthink almost everything, including a simple question coming from a simple person. Sex wasn’t really that important to him, after all, he’d never really had time to think about something like that. 

“Do you do that for every girl, Matsuda?” Light fired a question in retort, folding his arms and tilting his head to the side. This comment made Matsuda sit up slightly as his face flushed a healthy red, spluttering to think up an answer. 

“I-I mean, I s-suppose, sometimes, i-if I think they’re, um, pretty.” 

“It’s bad to judge someone by their appearance, you know?” Light said calmly. He seemed to be getting slightly bored of this conversation, despite the oddness of its subject, and was now picking at the armrest of his chair.

“I-I know that! But um… Well, what do you judge them by, Light?” 

“Me? Well, probably their intelligence. Their loyalty. You know, I like healthy relationships, ones where we trust each other.” 

L had a feeling Light was lying about something. If intelligence really was what attracted him to females, what was he doing dating Misa? 

He suddenly felt eyes on him, and turned to see Matsuda watching him expectantly, obvious waiting for L to answer the same question. Blinking slowly and raising a finger up to his lip, L returned the stare. 

“Well… I am not really sure. I’ve never had much interest in females. Or romance on a whole,” He added, realising how that sentence could’ve been taken the wrong way. “Do you have something other than their appearance, Matsuda?” 

“Yes, of course!” Matsuda’s eyes lit up in eagerness, making L question what really made this man excited. “I like it when they give good blowjobs!” 

Light sniggered immediately, bringing a hand up to his mouth to try and stifle his laughter. Meanwhile, L simply remained in his finger-on-lip position, keeping a levelled gaze on Matsuda’s hyperactive face. 

“I do not believe I have experienced one of these… Blowjobs.” 

“WHAT?!?” Matsuda flew from his seat, causing L to nearly karate kick him in fright. “You have never had a blowjob before? L- Ryuzaki, you haven’t lived!” 

For the first time in minutes, L dropped his gaze from Matsuda and returned it to the ground. What did this mean? He hadn’t lived, just because he hadn’t had a blowjob? This was awfully uncomfortable. Was it really that vital to human life, to partake in a blowjob? What was his species doing? 

“Matsuda, that’s enough.” Light’s firm tone interrupted L’s thoughts. “Just because L hasn’t had a blowjob, it doesn’t mean he hasn’t… lived, or whatever. Frankly, I think it’s quite charming that he hasn’t gotten into that yet. Refreshing.” 

“But…” 

Matsuda trailed off as Light’s stare turned vicious, and bowed his head like a child being scolded by their parent. An… Odd reason to be scolded, nonetheless. 

“Just… Out of interest, L, have you ever made out with someone?”

Ah, Light had seemed to be on his side, but even he was turning to interrogate L on his sex life. Unfortunately, L didn’t even know the answer to this question, although he was pretty sure he had never ‘made out’ with someone. 

“I’m… Afraid I do not know what that means. ‘Make out?’ Is it a term for… Making something with the other person? Like baking a cake? Because I have made a cake with Watari before-“ 

“L, no, not like that.” Light’s voice was still even, but his eyes betrayed the hysterical laughter raging inside him at that moment. “Making out, I guess, is kissing. But a little more… Adventurous than kissing. Normally there’s more touching, it lasts for longer, um, sometimes leads into something else…” 

“I… Um…” L was unsure of how to respond without making things even more awkward than they already were. And, of course, Matsuda had to come along and make things even worse. 

“Light, I don’t think he understands. Why don’t you show him?” 

“Matsuda, did you seriously just say that? I’m not making out with L.” 

“Come on! He doesn’t understand, and the best way to make him understand is to actually show him!”

“No.” 

“There’s a reason why kids do practical experiments at school. It’s so they have a better understanding of everything happening.” 

“You literally just compared making out to a kid’s science lesson. I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” 

“I dare you. I know that you never back away from a challenge, so, I dare you to make out with L.” 

They hadn’t even bothered with his cover name. If ‘making out’ was really this great that they completely forgot the seriousness of this case, this situation, and the rules and guidelines that went with it, this course of affectionate action must definitely be something extraordinary. 

Again, L’s thoughts were cut off by Light. But, not in the way he pictured. Usually L’s brain worked at the speed of sound, puzzling clues together, evaluating the world around him, but it took a record-breaking amount of time for him to actually realise he was being kissed. Maybe it was because he had never been kissed before. Probably because he had never been kissed before. 

Light’s actions were hesitant, and L realised it was because he had been sitting in the same spot, hands glued to his side, lips clasped together in a firm line as Light desperately tried to heat things up to a ‘make out.’ L should probably try and help. 

Copying Light’s actions, he began to open his mouth and kiss back. See, this wasn’t too hard. All he had to do was follow Light’s lead, and he would be fine. How was Light so good at this? How many other people had he kissed? Technically, if he was kissing Light’s lips, that had kissed other lips, was he kissing other lips as well? Was it possible he was kissing Misa at this very moment? 

A hand slipped through his hair, causing L’s eyes to shoot open. He had zoned out, again. Something was really wrong with him today. He needed to up his game, Light was making all of the effort here, taking all of the work upon his own shoulders. 

Fighting down his nerves, L closed his eyes again and instead ran a trembling hand across Light’s thigh, earning a smile from the other that traced around the frame of their lips. A barely-contained squeal came from the side of the room, alerting both of them that Matsuda did still exist, bringing them down from the clouded world they had momentarily vanished into.

Although L had never made out with, or even kissed someone before, he knew that it usually wasn’t like that. 

Breathing heavily, the two pulled apart, L immediately retracting into his usual crouching position and Light moving backwards slightly. And, once again, Matsuda had to make this worse. 

“You know, that was pretty good! Ehe, I was even wondering whether you guys were gonna go full out then, it was so passionate! Y’know, after seeing that, there’s always the opportunity to show L how a blowjob-“ 

“NO!”


End file.
